The 21st Century Woman

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      Every woman will eventually need to make the decision in her life of when she would like to tip the scale of balance between family and career. Some women have decided to give 70% to career and 30% to family, or 80% to family and 20% to career, or 50% to either, etc. My point is that as a woman, we are typically in the position of both primary child care and partner to our spouse. It is near impossible to devote 100% of your energy to both your family and career at the same time. The balance of energy will tip to favor one side over the other.

     I believe that when I am ready to have a family, it will not diminish completely my professional aspirations. It may cause me to have new and more important aspirations. It may cause me to place my family or career above achieving the next opportunity in that moment. When I make the decision, it should not be regretful, because it should be what I decided was more important at that stage in my life. If unexpected circumstances suggest otherwise, then own up to your choices, dispel any feelings of bitterness, and create new opportunities.

     Since people will likely last longer than company titles, and my last business trip was not nearly as fun as my last family vacation, I suspect that should I be forced to decide my predominate balance of energy, I know which way I will tip the scale.  

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International Women's Day first emerged from the activities of labor movements at the turn of the twentieth century in North America and across Europe.

1909: The first National Woman's Day was observed in the United States on 28 February. The Socialist Party of America designated this day in honour of the 1908 garment workers' strike in New York, where women protested against working conditions.

1910: The Socialist International, meeting in Copenhagen, established a Women's Day, international in character, to honor the movement for women's rights and to build support for achieving universal suffrage for women. The proposal was greeted with unanimous approval by the conference of over 100 women from 17 countries, which included the first three women elected to the  Parliament. No fixed date was selected for the observance.

1911: As a result of the Copenhagen initiative, International Women's Day was marked for the first time (19 March) in Austria, Denmark, Germany and Switzerland, where more than one million women and men attended rallies. In addition to the right to vote and to hold public office, they demanded women's rights to work, to vocational training and to an end to discrimination on the job.

Since those early years, International Women's Day has assumed a new global dimension for women in developed and developing countries alike. The growing international women's movement, which has been strengthened by four global United Nations women's conferences, has helped make the commemoration a rallying point to build support for women's rights and participation in the political and economic arenas. Increasingly, International Women's Day is a time to reflect on progress made, to call for change and to celebrate acts of courage and determination by ordinary women who have played an extraordinary role in the history of their countries and communities.

This is a time to celebrate and honor the many accomplishments of women everywhere.

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      “What do women want?”  This is a question that has been asked by many, but, addressed by few.  “What do women really want?”  Some may even be afraid to answer.

Let me answer this question for you.  Women want to be loved, appreciated, accepted, adored, cared for, acknowledged, rewarded, healthy, wealthy, remembered, respected, and paid attention to. 

Women need to feel a sense of freedom that allows them to be whom they are as unique individuals.  Their thoughts, ideals, suggestions, and input should be considered and heard when shared.

“What do women want?”  Economic freedom to live comfortably in a lifestyle that’s suitable for each woman’s individual desire; suitability and comfort all wrap up in a nice stable environment with peace, and harmony, where their finances and self-worth are synchronized together without experiencing a deficit in their natural resources.

“What do women want?” To be remembered on their birthday, anniversary, Valentine’s Day, Sweethearts Day, Mother’s Day, Secretary’s Day, Christmas, and every day.

“What do women want?” An apology when you have wronged her, a raise when she has earned it and a promotion when she qualified for it.

“What do women want?” To be respected when you entreat her, and not mishandled when you see her.

“What do women want?”  A child that will respect her, a husband that won’t reject her, and a Mother-in-law that won’t neglect her.

“What do women want?”  To live in a world that acknowledges her presence, awards her contributions, and celebrates her existence.

Now that we understand each other, let’s help her get what she wants.

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What advice can you give to young women when considering a career? What have you learned in your journey that you did not know that maybe would have made you re-direct your course? Are you satisfied with the choices that you have made so far and where you are today?  Do you plan to have a family of your own someday?

Not many people are blessed to work in a career that they are truly passionate about because it is hard to turn your passion into a career. When you are choosing what you want to spend the majority of your time doing, you must make sure that it is something that you enjoy because that is exactly what it is, something you will spend a lot of time doing. When you are working a job you enjoy, it will be reflected in your work performance, attitude, and overall appearance.

I do not think there is anything that I have come across while on my journey I would change.  I am still pretty young, in a developing stage and forever learning something new, my journey has been too short to tell.  That also could be because I am still deciding the exact path I would like to take.

It is hard making the right decision the first time around, and though you are allowed second chances at times, no one can know exactly what will happen after certain decisions are made.  There are always areas you can look back and wish you could have done something different.  The point is to move forward and do better the next time around.

I would love to have a family of my own someday.  Who knows what the future holds but God.  I always thought I would be married with my first child at least by the age of 28.  I am 23 years old, and I can still obtain that, even though it may take a little longer than I had anticipated.  I think most girls like to plan how their 'family life' will turn out at a young age.  I wanted to have two boys and two girls, a dog or two and a nice comfortable home.  I do want a happy, healthy, family someday.

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1.      What advice can you give to women who would consider a career in the medical field or in public speaking? What have you learned in your journey that you did not know that maybe would have made you re-direct your course? Are you satisfied with your career choice and where you are today? How do you balance family and career?

For a woman that is considering a career in medicine or in public speaking (or both, as I do) I would say this – neither can be about the money. If you see that a career in healthcare is the right combination of your skills and your passion, then pursue it!

My biggest lesson was this: make sure that your life reflects your priorities. If raising a family is the most important part of your life, spend more hours a week doing that than doing anything else, or at least work towards that.  Don’t assume that certain careers can’t be flexible – ask! Find mentors who are living the balance you want and ask how they achieved it.

Pick a life partner who has the same priorities as you. We achieve balance in our family because both my husband and I work flexible jobs. One of us is always home with our kids, and we have an awesome Grandma who is incredibly generous with her time. Many people are not as blessed as we are in that circumstance, so look at your life and figure out who cares enough to be a part of your village. If you can’t find those folks, go looking for a faith community or neighborhood or online support network that can translate in real life.

I love what I do, and a big part of that is having the flexibility to keep fine-tuning my course as I live.  My best advice is to figure out what you want to achieve and then gather the people and education around you to have your best shot at making it real. If you don’t see a way there? Ask the people in your life that you respect, that are happy with their lives, for suggestions. You never know where these questions can lead you!

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Offenses will come. We live in a world of diversity; different origins, customs, traditions and values. In a world that exemplifies culture will have their share of offenses.

Acknowledging when you are wrong or have said something wrong takes a mature person, a person of great understanding.  This is very important because we live in a society that thrives from news, opinions and comments. This is why you should think before you speak.

In the world of information technology, your actions and speech is captured to be placed on display for decision, remarks, comments and sometimes judgment. Now, you may be the type of person that don’t care what others think, but, their opinions, comments and viewpoints can sometimes effect you directly, especially financially. Your brand image and reputation could be on the line. You really should keep this in mind.

There used to be a time in our society where disruptive comments and actions were permitted, especially if you were of a certain persuasion or social economic status. Today, your job, reputation and social status could be placed in jeopardy by your inappropriate comments or actions.

You may even think it’s not fair, but, sometimes this kind of system could work to the advantage of a better more peaceful work-place and society. Adults will begin to give accountability, responsibility and consideration for their mis-conduct, where they sometimes may have felt they did not have to. They may even begin to grow and develop in certain areas of their character, the area of acceptance, kindness and esteem for others. Now that’s a good thing.

More importantly, we as a people and society must learn to forgive.  Why? We are an imperfect, growing, learning people and nation. It’s necessary for our growth, progression and existence. Forgiveness is very important because no one is perfect. No one is absent from fault. The ability to recognize this will cause individuals to be more aware of their own flaws and maybe spend more time cleaning up their bad habits, attitudes and character and will be looking for leniency and another opportunity to make right when they have done wrong.  I call this the boomerang effect.

So remember, forgiveness is a choice not a feeling. Time will heal but forgiveness is needed for the healing and redemption of a people and a nation.

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Prioritizing priorities should be one of the easiest goals to set to establish time management in your life. No one should have to tell you the order of importance that tasks should be handled during the course of your day. The most important task should take precedence over those that can be accomplished or handled another time.

As women, we have a lot of tasks and responsibilities to handle each and every day. Of course, that depends upon whether or not you are married, have children and a job. Time management becomes a job. Depending upon how many duties you are responsible for executing each day, you could very well find yourself juggling and delegating those tasks. That is why prioritizing is so important. There are only twenty-four hours in a day to try to manage your time in a more effective way to get everything that needs to be handled done. Everything else that can wait until the next day generally does.

Unfortunately, some task that get shoved to the next day sometimes turn into multiple days, weeks, months and sometimes years. As some task begins to accumulate more responsibilities and issues arise. You probably will begin to complain about not having enough time to get everything done that needs to be done, now complacency kicks in and a sense of guilt; guilt because you begin to make promises that you will not keep because you do not have the time.

If you are a working woman, you probably have a calendar or planner that you use to help manage your time and activities each day. If you are a stay-at-home mom, you probably have some type of calendar or organizer board on the refrigerator. Nevertheless, you are keeping tabs on the time and activities for everyone in the house, including yourself.

Whether you are car-pooling or involved in other children activities you can easily become over-extended. Working a full-time job and taking the children to school while trying to maintain a tidy home can also become challenging. Dinner, homework, household chores and commuting can become a real juggling act.” What can you do to help your day go a lot smoother?” “Get organized!”

Organization is a word that we do not hear as much in the home, but, organization is the key to maintaining structure and harmony in your life. You must learn to set a schedule and stick to it. You must learn to say no to some things that are not important so that you can get your priorities in order to make sure all of your obligations have been met. You must realize that you are only one person and you cannot do everything all by yourself. Ask for help. It’s okay for your children to learn how to put their toys away when they are done playing with them. It’s okay to teach them to place their clothes in the hamper and learn to make their beds. It’s okay to tell them no when what they are asking for is not needful or necessary and most of all, it is okay to tell a friend not now I will go another time.

By doing these little things you will have more peace, organization and structure in your life. Prioritizing priorities, try it, you might like it!

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When I first became a mother I was very excited! I viewed motherhood as one of the most important roles a woman could fulfill. This position allows you to love, nurture, cultivate, teach, provide and protect your little ones.

One of the most exciting events is watching your child grow. It is an amazing experience to encounter, this little human being growing inside of you and then make their grand entrance into this world.  So awesome!

Once that little bundle of joy arrives getting everything prepared for their stay can be quite interesting. While preparing, all kinds of thoughts races through your mind. What kind of mother are you going to be? Will you become just like your mother? Will you be viewed as a good mother? Will you have everything you need? All these questions and more will cross your mind.

The role of the mother is a little more challenging because you are the nurturer and care-giver. While providing love and understanding this role may also require at times some reprove and correction. Some mothers can sometimes be over-protective and over-bearing in an attempt to keep the wolves from devouring her little lambs. She can be vicious if she feels an attack approaching her little ones, but, she feels that it’s her responsibility to make sure they are not harmed and rightfully so. She tries to heal all their little boo-boos and sometimes pretends they can do no wrong. She uses her instinct as her guide to accomplishing the task with the utmost caution and concern. She wants what is best for her children, while not always aware of how to provide it; she gives motherhood everything she has to offer. She may not have everything she needs at her disposal, but, she always finds the resources to get what she needs. She instills a sense of pride and self-worth into the hearts and minds of her little companions.

 When I became a mother I quickly realized that one day soon, my children would develop into mature adults who would replicate a family brand name with my signature. With this in mind, I gave motherhood everything I had to offer. The time, energy, concern, love and support because I knew this would be one of the most important roles. I personally made sure there needs and concerns were met by participating in their little world. Whether we were reading books at the library, taking bubble baths or outside playing, everything was a learning experience. The creative ways that can be developed to accomplish this role call motherhood can be different for every woman. Enjoy the journey!!!

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